Suffer Thy 15 Minutes of Fame and Shut Up

Certain causal celebrities, accidental inhabitants of the footlights, heroes of the moment, rescuer of THREE cats from one tree during a dangerous spring butterfly swarm - commendable, all! But some of the media fail to realize how far 15 minutes should be stretched.

"Chet, we're here with octogenarian Melvis Goldfarb, whose purse was snatched not once but TWICE in the same year on the treacherous streets of New York. How's it going, Mrs Goldfarb? May I call you Melvis?"

"That's not my name...ah.. it's Goldstein... Mavis Goldstein..."

"Such a brave soul you are! Five years ago, in this very city, your handbag was torn from your grasp, not once but TWICE in the same year. I recall it like it was yesterday - it was all over the news! And yet here you are standing with us, as brave and staunch a soul as before the brutality. Tell us what has given you the courage to shoulder on, Mrs Goldfarb?"

"Well, I... ah... that's not.."

"And what a gut-wrenching trauma to have suffered, Mrs Goldfarb! Anyone would be confused and a bit shaken after such an earth-shattering occasion. Not once but TWICE in a single year, this poor soul was stripped of every possession in her grasp by the malevolent streets of Gotham. Any advice for our viewers, Mrs Goldfarb?"

".. it's GoldSTEIN. STEIN... like beer stein. You know? Stein?"

"Poor woman. Anyone standing her can see that she's practically shaking at the recollection. Again, Chet, we're standing here with the brave Mavis Goldfarb, victim of crime not once but TWICE in a single year, boldly facing the streets yet again on this fine pastoral afternoon in the Big Apple."

"That's GoldSTEIN. Mavis GoldSTEIN."

"Back to you, Chet!"

"Oy."