She Isn't. She's NOT. She Swears It.

August 21 : Celeb Ms X, appearing in a less-than-formfitting t-shirt and jeans, responds, "Of course I'm not pregnant." Reps for Ms X have no comment.

September 18 : Celeb Ms X, appearing in a one-piece bathing suit covered in a beach top, categorically denies that she is pregnant. Close friends of Ms X refuse to comment.

October 5: Celeb Ms X appears on the red carpet in a flowing vintage Valentino, states, "That's silly. I'm not expecting," when questioned by reporters. Reps for Ms X do not comment.

October 19: A radiant Ms X and her close friend Mr Z glow as they announce that they are expecting their first child to arrive in mid-January. Ms X spins for reporters, in a skin-grazing but baby bump-revealing red Monique Lhuillier and sensible ballerina flats. Close friends of Ms X and Mr Z announce that both of last month's baby showers were 'spectacular.'

Long ago and far away, this is what we tribal elders referred to as "lying." Celebs everywhere feel the head-butt of the Truth Rhino as it lumbers past.

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